Fox News

I hadn't watched Fox News in years, but started seeing stories about their shameless lies popping up this week. The gist of it is that they seem to sneer at any attempt to limit their criticism of all things Democratic, liberal, or Obama. They trumpet the fact that their viewers should be smart enough to tell their news reporting from their editorials. Critics say there's no differnece. I still wouldn't watch Fox News by choice, because they have some of the smuggest, ugliest, most hateful, bigoted, smuggest, sneeringest, name-callingest, meanest-sprited Neanderthals on TV. Oh, did I mention how smug they are?

Anyway, they had Fox News on with closed captioning at the restaurant we ate at tonight. Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Glenn Beck, and a couple guys who look like the neighbor you hope gets killed first when Earth is attacked. All spewing invective and thinking they're just the cleverest thing since exploding cigars. The captions scrolled by with hateful characterizations of transgendered people, "left" thinkers, dragging in Hitler and Mao to somehow compare to liberals, and on and on. I just kept wondering, what kind of advertisers would want the kind of customers that would watch this drivel? So here's a partial list:

Pristiq. This commercial seemed to go on about three minutes, with the little mechanical woman who needs to be wound up or she slumps over. Maybe she's the granddaughter of the person who had the little hammer, lightning bolt, and fraying rope inside their head. She's more modern- she has those nicely drawn synaptic bulbs with little globs of neurotransmitter that need to be rounded up and flipped across properly. That must be what makes the key in her back wind itself so she can straighten up. At work, we started getting the first crop of middle aged ladies whose primary doctors started giving them Pristiq. It's the new Premarin, you know. Premarin just gave menopausal women cancer, but Pristiq can make them suicidal. But they'll be hot flash free, so they can spend their days watching old white guys mock the president for trying to treat people who aren't old white guys better than his predecessor did. If this woman wasn't depressed before, she could certainly get depressed about humanity and the future by watching Fox.

Pearle Vision: I guess people who see things clearly won"t watch Fox.

FedEx: Best way to ship those Christmas crafts that you spend your days making and selling on Ebay, while watching Fox and lamenting about how our country is sliding down a greased chute to oblivion because of all those immigrants pouring in.

Heart Healthy supplements. Watching heartless and hard-hearted commentary may cause plaque build up in those coronary arteries. You need all the heart help you can get.