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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Protectionism

After my last post, there was another scandal about gross Chinese negligence - and I mean gross. Some guy was selling used chopsticks - a half million or so - without even washing them. That sort of underscores what I was saying before about not trusting anything that comes out of China.

But, taking a cue from the Wall Street Journal, China is trying to make this a political - slash - economic issue. Quoting from a Yahoo story:

China has said the world should have faith in the "made-in-China" label and that a spate of product recalls has been unfair, biased and politically motivated.

"No country can guarantee their food to be 100 percent safe, but if one in 100 or even in 1,000 of our products has quality problems, we will deal with it seriously," Commerce Minister Bo Xilai said on Tuesday when meeting former U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright.

"China strongly opposes (some countries) extending individual economic and trade problems, and thus conducting trade protection," Bo said in a report on the ministry's Web site.

Rich Uncle Pennybags, who seemingly writes the editorials for the Wall Street Journal, would probably take his cigar out of his mouth and harrumph agreement. "Let the market take care of this problem! Let the companies selling these products bear the responsibility! Humph! We don't need Big Government getting in on this!"

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Made in China

I've been ahead of the pack on feeling paranoid about the fact that so much of what we buy may be coming from China, often without our knowing it. The pet food episode was enough to convince me that we've made ourselves really vulnerable to a nation that was our sworn enemy and was sponsoring the people that were killing our troops in two wars within my lifetime. And it's the nation that's mowed down pro-democracy demonstrators, imprisoned dissidents, and wants to monitor every one of its residents with gizmos that George Orwell couldn't have imagined. So is it surprising that we get melamine laced food, antifreeze laced mouthwash, seafood that's full of aquarium disinfectant, and lead based toy paint?

Remember thecharacter Dan Ayckroyd used to play on Saturday Night Live who sold the Johnny Razor Blade Fun Set and all that stuff? That's the feeling I get now reading Mattell's straightfaced proclamations that they would never, ever sell toys that weren't safe, and they had no IDEA that things were so bad with Chinese stuff. (Although part of the problem is with their own design staff, in the case of the Johnny GutRipper Magnetic Play Sets).

Now I don't intend to chew on my iPod, so I don't really care too much what's floating around the air in the Secret City of Terry what's his name, but what about the pencils they sell at Wal-Mart winding up in our kids' mouths while they try to figure out how to do their math problems? This is pretty scary. And big business in this country seems to have colluded to be silent about what we're now finding out about poor quality control and outright adulteration of products coming from China. Someone in each of these instances knew that this stuff was going into the products being sold to US firms. Maybe it was a small farm or factory operator (they don't have owners there, still, I assume, despite "economic reform" and all that other stuff). Maybe it was some bureaucrat in the Ministry of What a Wonderful Republic We Are who looked the other way. Or maybe it was all the fault of that guy they executed and we can now rest easy.

Or maybe it's actually (gasp) an American -- someone in our esteemed market-driven trickle down prosperity machine that we can't let Big Government get in the way of -- who doesn't give a shit about us. If so, I'm shocked -- SHOCKED.

What really tickles me is the way the Wall Street Journal calls any attempt to regulate what comes over from China "protectionism," and keeps up their usual farting that the market will resolve any problems if we just give it time. By then we'll have a generation of LD kids. Excuse me, but I thought "protectionism" referred to using economic penalties to try to give imports an unfair disadvantage in the marketplace. This is protection we're talking about, not protectionism. We just want the government to help keep poison out of our lives. Like they're doing such a good job of with BP and Lake Michigan, right? Really, getting upset about the government being too intrusive at this point is pretty silly when most of the agencies have been emasculated like they have been by the current administration.

All I know is that I have a Chinese fiddle and a Chinese mandolin and they both suck. So I'm buying American whenever I can. And getting all the food I can from the farmer's market. Now excuse me while I go play my Deering Goodtime banjo and my Mid-Missouri mandolin.

Maybe, though, it's all a big conspiracy. If our kids eat enough paint chips, they'll grow up to be faith-based Republican gun-toting voters.

Ha. I don't think anyone reads this anyway, but if they do, that should provoke a comment.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Freight Train Greedy Humpty Dumpty Connection

I googled "freight train greedy humpty dumpty" and came up with nothing. But think about it. Isn't the song from that old Max Fleischer cartoon (which I saw on Garfield Goose and my kids saw on the 1980's Disney Channel) really just the old folk song "Freight Train" reworked? I ask you...

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Snowmobilers - Some of them

I just got back from the wilds of Northern Wisconsin (Minocqua, to be exact), where I hadn't been in 44 years. It looks remarkably the same as it did, with some new development but nowhere near what's been inflicted on Door County. Jim Peck's Wildwood is still there, as is Bosacki's Boathouse (though we were disappointed in the food and service there). The old cottage my family stayed in on Lake Marion in 1961 and 1963 is still there, though it has a McMansion next door. Every restaurant still has a Friday fish fry, and prime rib the other nights, just like Wisconsin supper clubs should. Unfortunately, Paul Bunyan's is closed for the season, so we couldn't stuff ourselves with pancakes and sausage. We had to go to Ella's in Woodruff for that.

One thing there were a lot of was snowmobiles. I didn't have any real problem with them at first. I even told my wife that it's be fun to rent a pair and try it out ourselves. The smowmobilers we encountered on Wednesday and Thursday were nice people, who were courteous and didn't ride late at night.

But my opinion changed on Friday and Saturday. Dozens of snowmobiles were parked around the hotel where we were staying, with their trailers blocking the lot. The owners would start the engines and let them run while they propped open the hotel door to carry their stuff up. That meant the smell of unburned gasoline and 2-cycle exhaust permeated the building. They started riding in groups of ten or fifteen, crossing the roads without looking, and trying for every little bump or hump they could find to perform a jump.

I walked out on the old railroad trestle over Lake Minocqua, which has been turned into a hiking, biking, and snowmobile trail. There was very little snow left on most of the trail (it had all been turned into "snirt.") And there was no snow at all on the trestles. But the riders kept using it, making a sound that rattles your teeth. The studded belts of the snowmobiles had chewed up the wooden planks on the bridges so badly that it was like walking on dried out sponges instead of wood. Bikes won't be able to use it, I'm afraid, until they do some repairs.

The rest of Northern Wisconsin was just as bad. You could see the snirt trails everywhere you went. Now some of the trails are marked, cared for, and maintained through organizations. But a lot of them are on private propery or just the sides of the roads.

The one place I didn't begrudge the snowmobilers their fun was on the frozen lakes. They can have them to themselves. (Well, I did drive our Ford Escape out onto the ice of Lake Minocqua just for kicks. Something about going down a boat launching ramp headfirst and then just continuing out onto the water -- feels forbidden, daring, and fun all at the same time. But I stayed well away from the snowmobiles).

Then here's the weekend drinking combined with snowmobile driving. A lot of these trails connect to taverns, and I saw a lot of snowmobiles parked outside of them. I hope people weren't driving under the influence.

Anyway, I don't want to be a curmudgeon, and as a cyclist I don't think I have to worry about being hit by a snowmobile (the way I have to worry about being hit by a wave runner while I'm sailing my sailboat). But let's face it, noisy smelly machines driven by rude people are annoying no matter what the season. I just hope the rude ones can stay home until they learn some manners. And maybe until they start making environmentally friendly snowmobiles.

Jimmy Crack Snickers

Well, time for me to weigh in on issues of the day, since this is a blog, after all, and I may capture people's attention better that way than discoursing about my own life. So I'll discourse about my opinions about other people's lives.

Today's topic is political correctness as applied to television commercials. Two recent commercials caught a lot of flak - one was the Snickers commercial during the Super Bowl, which showed two "Earl" types working on a car, and sharing a Snickers bar without using their hands... and ending up sort of kissing, after which they get freaked out and start trying to do "manly" things. This has been decried by people who disapprove of homosexuality, but also hollered about (and louder) by people who presume to speak on behalf of the rights of gay people. That word, "homophobia," came up in the discussion, as I recall.

Now David Sedaris, who, as far as I can tell, is still openly gay, has already written very well on the difference between disliking something and being afraid of it. At any rate, I think it's really funny that the "homophobia" issue came up around this commercial. Because no one seems to get it that they are MAKING FUN of homophobia, not fostering it. These guys are displaying true homophobia. Evangelical Christians and other assorted neocons don't have homophobia (at least not that I can say with any certainty); what they have is moral disapproval of homosexuality -- and/or indignation about gay people gaining political power.

Anyway, I always thought that "Will and Grace" was much more of a blatant affront to gay people, but no one else seems to share my take on that.

Second commercial: The Cingular one where the future son-in-law tries to become buddies with his fiancee's dad, Jim, until the call gets dropped. The last few times I heard it, I had a nagging sense that something was missing - it was not quite as funny. Ah, well, maybe this was the short version. Then I heard that there was a line cut out of it - "Jimmy crack corn" -- out of concerns that people would be offended since that was a song about slavery. This was apparenly confirmed by the company. They had a handful of complaints about it.

Well, OK, but it's also a song that most of us grew up singing in our grammar school music classes, along with a bunch of other, far more politically incorrect stuff. And on the subject of "Blue-tailed Fly" (The correct title for "Jimmy Crack Corn,") you can turn to the esteemed Smithsonian Institution, which took over the operations of Moses Asch's Folkways Records. In searching through their catalog, which includes all the Broadside records, with "Who Killed Davey Moore" and other anthems of the civil rihts movement, you'll find a record by Pete Seeger - hardly a neocon -- with the "Jimmy Crack Corn" song on it. It's a kids' record, mind you. As the liner notes say:

"Kick off your shoes, tap your feet, and clap your hands along with Pete Seeger, whose contagious performances have introduced generations of children to the richness of traditional American music. Accompanied by his banjo, Pete Seeger presents 22 songs for young children that the whole family will enjoy. Extensive notes include lyrics and some instructions for dance. Especially for children 3 to 7. 59 minutes Winner of the 2001 Early Childhood News' Director's Choice Award Winner of the Parents' Choice 2000 Audio Classic Award."

See? A racist. Barefoot children clapping their hands. What a paternalistic image. Oh, by the way, Leadbelly sang it too. And I understand that Ludacris has used a snippet from it as well. So let's back off on the rhetoric and realize that our culture really is something of a melting pot, even if some people interpret that through some twisted logic as a code word for "Separate but equal."

Anyway, I think it's less funny without "Jimmy Crack Corn" and think they wimped out. Others think that if there were more black people in positions of influence in the advertising business, they would never have allowed this to go through.

My take is that singing a line from a familiar song that was originally about a slave who was sad that his master died is not condoning slavery or racism. It's a phrase that's almost as familiar to us as "Old MacDonald Had a Farm."

All they were using was a familiar phrase that most of us heard as kids. Its' not like they were having the guy do an Amos'n'Andy impression. So let's lighten up.

End of my rant.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


When I was in college we got hold of one of those reader boards (with the white letters that push into grooves in the fabric) like they have at funerals. We stuck it in the dorm room and every time someone walked past it they'd rearrange the letters. It produced some pretty strange text, the most memorable of which was:

DESI "Q" CHELANI BLATS PIE

WONGO WONGO HEEBIE JEEBS
DELLA BONA SITZ AT THEBES

RAP A RONDO, RAP A RAP

BRING A FRIEND AND BE A SAP

HA HA


A day or so later, the second to last line was changed to:

DIG A FIEND AND BE A SAP


Anyway, for some reason we wondered what this Desi "Q" Chelani looked like. I drew a picture of a burly guy with work boots and jeans, and a long-sleeve football jersey with the number 41 on it. His head was a giant eye, and he was holding something that looked like a pikestaff with two wicked looking barbed points (one on each end). Don't ask me how that image came to be, but one influence may have been a line from a song by the Incredible String Band ("...His eye is single and his whole body is filled with light.")


Anyway, Ol' Desi was standing on a little hummock of land in the middle of a river, with pies sitting nearby on other little chunks of land sticking out of the water. I had to figure that "blatting" the pies would leave a real mess, judging by the size of that pikestaff. The whole scene looked like one of those old photographs from the Depression.


Anyway, when I saw the "make your own card catalog website, I had to make reference to Desi. By the way, I once created a screen name of "DesiQChelani" on AOL, and for a couple years all I got was e-mail about Indian-American dances, or rave events, or something.
The link is:

Monday, January 15, 2007

My trip to Sam Ash

I thought I'd describe my one and only experience with Sam Ash Music, which at this point will probably be my last. As I've described here, I'm a fiftyish guy who's played guitar since grammar school, both acoustic and electric, and used to be pretty geeked whenever I got to go to the music store to look at all the neat stuff. I was still running on excitement about the idea that I could record the jam sessions with the guys I met in November. Mind you, my last trips to music stores were in the days of Vox wah pedals (had one, sold it in 1983, dummy me, kids needed new shoes) fuzz tone boxes, phase shifters, and tube amps.

After my son gave me the Boss Micro BR pocket recording unit for Christmas, I decided that the built in monaural microphone wasn't enough, especially if I wanted to record this bunch of guys jamming. I'd had a Radio Shack stereo electret condenser microphone that corroded away over the years (wasted an hour trying to get it apart to replace the battery, only to find it was dead), and was looking to get something along those lines as a replacement. Unfortunately, the owners manual for the Boss unit wasn't too helpful, saying only that the external microphone could be supplied with plug-in power of up to 3 volts from the jack, but that the Boss unit couldn't supply 48 volt phantom power.

Yesterday I went to the Sam Ash store in Burbank, Illinois, and said I was looking for a microphone to use with the Boss Micro BR unit. The head honcho in the microphone department, a rather imposing guy who seemed to be more familiar with the needs of DJ's than amateur old-time musicians like myself, pretty much told me I was out of luck and that the Boss unit wasn't what I needed for what I was doing. He tried to sell me a $299.00 digital recorder with built-in stereo microphones and 4 channels. (I don't even remember the brand). He told me that all the condenser microphones at Sam Ash require phantom power of 9 to 48 volts and that a dynamic microphone wouldn't work, and that was about it. He said that all the microphones they sell are meant to run off mixing boards. He unwrapped a Boss Micro BR (Admitting he'd never really looked at it before) and looked at the manual, and kind of dismissed it saying that it was mostly for guitar players and not really for a jam band. I left feeling like I'd just been talked down to. Other than trying to get me to spend 300 bucks, he offered no assistance.

After I got home and looked on the Internet, I found out that the kind of microphone that this unit needs is the type that's used with mini-disk or DAT recorders. So I looked them up, found the Sony ECM-719 for $54 at B&H Photo, and ordered one. I also happened to see that the same unit was available on Sam Ash's website for a little more, but I'd already ordered it from B&H. It plugs right in, no adapter needed, and even offers the choice of plug-in power or running off a built in battery.My point is that -- even though Boss was less than informative about what kind of mic to use with this unit -- Sam Ash should have been able to help me since they carry both products; and even if the salesperson didn't know that much about the Boss unit, he could have done some checking and found out that Sam Ash also sells the proper microphone. And he could have done it without making me feel like an idiot.But if I ever inherit a lot of money and for some reason decide to start a DJ business, I'm sure he'd be my go-to guy.